Let’s Get Started: Ready, Steady, GO!

Perhaps you’ve been wondering why this blog has been unusually quiet these past couple of days. Well, I’ve been in a bit of a tizzy as of late. You see, my husband, has been offered a full-time job, with benefits.

Up until now, he’s been contracting, which has been good, but with no benefits…well…It’s amazing how God protected and cared for us. When I had Daniel and decided to stay home, God provided the means to do that. We never went hungry, never lost our housing, never got seriously ill. Always paid our bills. But still, there were many times when I wondered if I should shelve the dream of becoming a writer and go back to work full-time.

I know, I know. If I was a “true” writer, I’d find a way to make it happen: write during lunch hours, in the early morning, blah, blah, blickety blah. But come on. You know and I know that for me, it wouldn’t work. I worked full-time for six years and barely put any words down on paper. I loved my job so much that I threw all my creative work into it. My regular writing suffered because of it–I don’t think I even journaled during those years.

Now, it could be that if I did have to go back to work, I’d find a way now that the urge to write flows through my veins. Perhaps I would’ve gotten a crummy job, one I couldn’t wait to find quiet moments to whip out paper and pen and scribble furiously. But that wouldn’t be fair to my employers. What if we decided to have another child? I would only work for a little while, then have to come back home again. And then there’s the family aspect, which…hold on, I’m now venturing into the whining zone. The point is, there are tons of mother writers out there who work full-time, take care of their families, and still write best-selling novels. I admire them. I envy them. I just don’t think I can be like them.

That’s why I’d been praying and seeking God’s will in writing. Many, many times I told him, “Look, if you want me to do this, full-time, you gotta give my hubby something better in the job market.” And for four years, I prayed that prayer, not hearing much of anything except a vague Don’t worry. Just keep writing. God will take care of things…

And then, a job opportunity for my hubby came. He applied for it. They offered him the position on Friday. Yes, that Friday the 13th….Only one other time has something happened on an auspicious day: that was when Daniel was born on Mother’s Day. Pretty surprising for all of us, but when you consider that before Daniel, I had two miscarriages…Well, you can see why I sometimes feel that God has a wonderful sense of humor.

But this also came just on the heels when I realized that if I’m to get serious about writing Willow, then I need to dedicate more time to it. When my hubby got the position, we talked about a lot of things, and out of the blue, he said, “We can even start thinking about daycare for Daniel next year. Question is, what do you want to do with your time? Did you want to think about working again, or did you want to focus on Willow?”

Uhhhhhh…..

It feels weird. To suddenly have the freedom, the permission to write…to actually work on what I feel God has called me to…frankly, it’s terrifying…

But that’s why I signed up for Nano. To see if I could do this. It’s why I started this blog. To see if I can do this. Yes, it’s going to be frustrating and stressful, and rejection letters will pile up, and there’ll be days when I sit down and what spill from my fingertips should be dunked into the toilet along with Daniel’s poop, and if we do have another child, I’ll have to juggle her (or him…God’s still got that sense of humor going…) while writing, and Daniel will most probably drive me crazy trying to show me what he learned in daycare, and the dishes will pile up and my hubby will need his pants ironed, and I’ll open my email to find another rejection letter…

And something tells me I’m going to be loving every minute of it.

So if you don’t mind, I need to quit this blog and start writing, because when God gives you permission to do something, you better hit the ground running…

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