Where’s my Disney black princess? Oh…here she is!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/15/disney.newprincess.ap/index.html

(Mickey Mouse straightens his bowtie, spruces up the bouquet of flowers, takes a deep breath, then knocks on the door.)

Mickey Mouse: LaShawn? It’s me. Open up.

(LaShawn peers out the window.)

LaShawn (from behind the window): Go away!

Mickey Mouse: But I have something very important to tell you!

LS: Beat it! Scram!

MM: Really! I do! Please, open the door.

(After a minute, there’s a sound of locks sliding back and the door opens. Mickey takes a step forward but halts when he sees LaShawn standing at the door holding a bazooka.)

LS: You got five seconds.

MM: Whoa! Hold up! You don’t have to get violent–

LS: Four…

MM: Let me explain–

LS: ThreeTwoOne…

MM: BLACK PRINCESS!!!

LS: What?

MM: BLACK PRINCESS! We’re doing a black princess! Please don’t hurt me–

LS (lowering the bazooka slightly): What’s this? Some new trick to get me to watch more of the Disney Channel? I’ve already relented to let Daniel watch HiggleyTown Heroes. This better not be no scheme.

MM: No! Honest and for true! We really are doing a movie with a black princess. I can tell you all about it but please…please lower that thing…

(LaShawn thinks a moment then sets down the gun.)

LS: Okay, but if this is a trick, you gonna be talking much higher than you do now. Talk.

MM (nervously mopping his forehead with the bouquet of flowers): I know that we’ve let you down a number of times. We didn’t mean to. We were just on a roll. I can understand your hatred for us.

LS: ‘Hate’ is such a strong word. Tone it down to despise.

MM: You didn’t use to despise us. You actually enjoyed us for a while there, didn’t you?

LS: Well, yeah, I did like Little Mermaid when it came out. And I enjoyed Aladdin too. It’s when you started doing the Princess thing that I began to wonder why there wasn’t any black princesses…

MM: Too true, too true…

LS: And then you had to get my hopes up with Lion King, setting it in Africa and all. I really thought a black princess would come out of that. But instead, you gave us animals. Nothing but stinking, farting animals…and a score by Elton John…grrrrr…how DARE YOU!

MM: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I know. But this time, we really mean it! We are going to do a black princess. We’re calling it “The Frog Princess”.

LS (voice going back to normal): “The Frog Princess”?

MM: We’re billing it as an “American fairy tale”.

LS: That so? MM: We’re gonna release it in 2009. I even have a picture, if you wanna see it.

LS (shrugging): Allright. Let me see it.

(Mickey Mouse pulls out a photo and carefully hands it to LaShablack Disney princesswn. She peruses it for a bit.)

LS: Hey. She’s pretty. She’s even sporting an Afro of sorts.

MM: Like it?

LS (suspiciously) What’s her name?

MM: Maddy.

LS: Huh…my grandma’s name was Mattie. Not bad…not bad. Where’s it set?

MM: It’s gonna be in New Orleans.

LS (raising her eyebrows): Is that so? Well that’s timely. I like that. It will bring some good publicity to the place. What’s it gonna be about?

MM: I can’t really tell you just yet, but I know you’ll like it. It’s directed by the same people who wrote Aladdin and Little Mermaid. Didn’t you say you liked those movies?

LS: Yeah, I did, didn’t I? Huh. I guess I can’t despise you all that much anymore.

MM: Oh, you’ll like it. Really, you will. Trust me.

LS: You realize that everyone will be buzzing about it. The pressure is gonna be on you for it to be good.

MM: LaShawn, name one movie that Disney done that flopped.

LS: Atlantis (scammed off of Nadia BlueWater), Treasure Planet, Emperor’s New Groove–

MM: That’s more than one. And I thought you liked New Groove…

LS: Box office didn’t. Hercules, Brother Bear, Home on the Range, Chicken Little, that one with all the birds…

MM: It was a British crossover! And Chicken Little did well at the box office.

LS: Yeah, well it still sucked. And let’s not forget the brouhaha over “Song of the South…”

MM: You’re never going to let me live that down, huh?

LS: I’m just saying that compared to all that, “The Frog Princess” is gonna get a lot of pressure. But, from the looks of this, it looks like you’re actually coming back to traditional animation, so I guess that gets a plus in my book.

MM: So we can be friends now? You’ll stop despising me?

LS: We’ll see. (Smiling) I guess if you’re gonna be serious in putting out a black princess, then maybe, just maybe, I’ll forgive you.

MM: Oh, good. (Holding out the flowers, now wilted in his grip) Then let’s declare a truce for now.

LS (taking the flowers): All right. (Pausing, looking down at the picture) By the way, who’s this playing the piano under Maddy’s picture?

MM (sweatdropping): Haha…yes…funny thing that…you see…

LS (holding the picture very close): Wait a minute…I recognize that guy…

MM (suddenly making a break for it): That’s the guy who’s doing the score gotta get going now BYE BYE–

LS (shrieking): RANDY NEWMAN?!?!?!

(There’s a sudden boom and the silhouette of a mouse is soon tumbling head over heels across the blue sky…)

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7 Responses

  1. I thought of you first when I heard-my daughter told me.

    LOL!

    One step at a time–this is huge!

    Finally, LaShawn, the African American mothers will have to deal with the Disney machine as well.

  2. There has been a black Princess in print since 2004. An African American Cinderella has been selling quite well and it’s published by Disney company Hyperion Press. There are 5 other black fairy tales from the same illustrator as well. Odd that these are not mentioned.

  3. Oo! I haven’t heard of them. What’s the name of the book? I would love to check them out!

  4. They are Cinderella , Goldilocks, Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Beauty and the Beast and Rapunzel. Published by Hyperion Press, a Disney company under the Jump at the Sun imprint.

  5. Thanks for letting me know. I didn’t know about the Jump at the Sun imprint. It looks very interesting. I’ll go check it out.

  6. a black princess…. (sigh). i’ve been waiting my whole life for disney to do something… but now that it has been so long (girl, i’m over thirty), one almost wonders if it’s too little too late. despite that, i hope it turns out to be well done in classic disney fashion. we’ll have to wait and see if Maddy really does join the ranks of the disney princesses.

  7. Aw, it’s never too late! I find that cartoons like that keep me young. 🙂

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