They are Door County Zombies!! They are local!! They want to sell us sweet wine and cheese!! Ahhhhhhh!!!

zombie-apocalypse-600x100-1

 

We have returned from Door County. We have survived.

What…exactly…I’m not sure.

There were zombies. They shuffled down streets. They stared up at bluffs. They crawled out of Lake Superior.

SDC18534

They are completely unphotogenic.

SDC18535

You can’t see it, but there’s a zombie right behind that tree.

I tell you, these are the worst zombies I’ve ever seen. I mean, we all know zombies go staggeringly slow and go "Uhhhhnnnnnn…Braaaaaaains…" But as far as trying to eat you? They totally suck. What they really want to do is sell stuff. Or try to anyway. It’s sort of hard to take a zombie seriously when it’s lifting a wine bottle and going "Uhhhhnnnn…Buyyyyyy…"

What got me was how the locals pretty much ignored the zombies. "Oh, don’t worry about him," a waitress at the White Gull told me as one zombie shuffled by with a menu. (The White Gull has the best cranberry stuffed french toast I’ve ever tasted). "We call him Gorgie. He used to be one of our waiters. We just let him pass menus out."

Gorgie wasn’t a good waiter anymore. He tried to give a menu to a painting of a woman on the wall, then spent the next hour drooling in the corner.

Most of our time up at Door County was spent being amused at the zombies. We watched them from towers up at Penisula State Park

SDC18573

 

We watched them suck at playing chess.

 

SDC18614

 

We watched them stack rocks at Cave Point Beach.

 

SDC18630

 

And we watched them against the background of the sunset.

 

SDC18602

 

It was actually quite benign.

The last thing we saw when we left Door County were these huge black vans that were driving up 42 and 57.  I don’t know what they were there for, but it’s interesting. The further west we traveled, the less zombies we saw. By the time we pulled back into Madison, I didn’t see any zombies at all. So maybe the whole thing is going away? I don’t know.

The zombies of Door County were the lamest zombies I ever saw. But I do have to admit–they have great taste in wine.

Advertisement

Update: Door County is *definitely* overrun by zombies…but not in the way you think…

zombie-apocalypse-600x100-1

Sorry…I’m just now getting to my laptop. Things have been insane up here. And by insane, I mean…*blank stare* insane…

So. Zombies. Apparently there’s some sort of Z-virus going around that changes people into zombies. Apparently, there are reports of strangeness and first hand accounts, and it’s not only humans who are turning into zombies. There’s a website that’s been gathering all these reports, and from the gist of things, everyone’s saying to stay inside, to not get infected.

I could say the same about the zombies up in Door County.

Except…

Well…

The zombies of Door County are different.

Uh oh. Hearing something upstairs. I’ll get back to you to explain.

::grabs shotgun::

::Decides shotgun won’t do::

::puts down shotgun, grabs bottle of cranberet wine and some cheese curds::

::Decides that will work just fine::