Free Your Mind! Throw it all Away!

Yesterday, I did something that I never thought I would do.

I threw my unfinished cross-stitch away.

It was a tree that I’ve been working on since I married my hubbie back in ’98. The one I had planned to cross-stitch the Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to tell the difference. Well, I started working on it, and somehow, over the years, the stitches I counted didn’t match what was on the pattern. Slowly, my Serenity tree was mutating into a tree one would find in Dante’s hell.

I wouldn’t give up, though. I was determined to finish it, to at least make it “seem” like the picture. But as Daniel came into the picture, I brought out the cross-stitch less and less, until it simply sat there in the craft bin in my closet, pouting. Whenever I brought it out into the light on rare occasions, its jagged lines stared dolefully back at me. Why won’t you finish me? I’m leafless! Put some leaves on me! I’m cold and wolves are out to get me…

Pretty soon, I kept it buried so I wouldn’t hear its accusations.

In our quest now to purge everything in our house before we move to Madison, I unearthed the thing after it spent several years at the bottom of my craft bin. The canvas backing has turned a dull gray. The pattern I’ve worked from has split apart, and the floss is now hopelessly tangled into Medusa knots. I brought my cross-stitch out into the light, and I swear it hissed at me. And that was when I made the realization:

1) I cannot change the fact that I don’t have time to cross stitch anymore.
2) I can do something about it this cross-stitch though. I just need the courage to do it.
3) Wisdom is telling me to dump this in the trash.

So that is what I did.

It’s liberating. Suddenly, the guilt of not working on a craft is off my shoulders. I think I’m standing up a little straighter. My craft bin looks lighter too. All my knitting stuff looks so nice now that it no longer is sharing a cramped space. And I didn’t get rid of all my cross-stitch stuff. There’s a few patterns I kept which is nicely filed away in a drawer. I think there will come a time when I will do it again. Now is just not the time.

Tossing out things that you don’t need or use anymore. For some reason it felt…disturbingly…good.

Hmm. I wonder what else I can toss out of my life to make it lighter?